No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
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He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
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Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize