I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My breasts were aching with rage.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
