I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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