i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
