I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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