So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
