I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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