Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
