i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
