My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I am one with the molecules
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
