This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
