I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
