I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
