We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
