so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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