escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize