The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
