They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
