So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
All I want is dick and wine.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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