i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
