Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
