He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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