ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize