took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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