plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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