Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So vagazzling was a success
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
