I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
