so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
