so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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