i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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