"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
