i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
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I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
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Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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