Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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