Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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