Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't think brook has ever known best
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
