She is in my trunk
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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