does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
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U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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