I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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