I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
