do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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