Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
