To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
the day after is always just damage control
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
