If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
