Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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