i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize
