my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The struggles of a small town man whore
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
