i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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