fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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