Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I need water and some morals
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
