Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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