i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
