DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize