that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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