I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
