I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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