this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
