I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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