What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
