i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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