Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize