everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
