how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
