you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
