Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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