I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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