...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
