I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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