dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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