What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
