I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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