No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
