He had one of those small greek statue penises
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
