i jhust puked up my retainher.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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