Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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