what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
